she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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