white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
