thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize