he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
