I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
