That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
