Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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