I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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