i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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