I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
