you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
