My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
