phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
