sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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