i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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