he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
