she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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