Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize