My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
