so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
