You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
