Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
