Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
