After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
