New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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