and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize