That's when you crack a 10am beer
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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