help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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