drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
