My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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