she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
