dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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