You're completely useless in the revolution.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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