I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize