Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
