I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Drunk is not a location!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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