I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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