She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
