my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
