Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
