dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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