eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
