he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
