had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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