he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
porn star boner night. come get it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
