i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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