Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
