The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
