I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Pants are for mortals
Randomize