my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
