Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize