I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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