I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
