This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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