White coat. Heels.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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