Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
