I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We need to rekindle our bromance
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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