all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
did i just pee glitter
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
