For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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