You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
