STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
