lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
