Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize