Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
