He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
