I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
