he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
