You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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