and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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