Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
